Take a trip with me, back to fifth grade. Entering the classroom, you find out the principal is doing a teacher observation. A few minutes into class, your friend starts to cause a ruckus. The friend is talking loudly to others, getting out of their seat, and ignoring the teacher’s directions. You may think to yourself, “Ugh, they’re being a class clown and showing off.” 

But then you remember – your friend isn’t usually like this. It’s only when someone new comes into the classroom. So, what gives? This begins the story of reactivity.

We behave in different ways around different people. You interact with your significant other differently than your boss. Your boss behaves differently with his supervisor than they do with newly hired staff. No surprise, but why? 

If we behave differently when we are observed, or differently when we think no one is observing us, reactivity occurs. Reactivity happens when someone’s behavior changes, simply because the person is being observed (or, not observed). These behaviors can be both positive and negative. The friend causing a ruckus – those behaviors are problematic and disruptive. We may have another friend who “shows off” in a positive way – working hard on tasks to impress the new person.

Imagine driving on the highway at 75 miles per hour (speed limit 65). You look behind you, only to see a police car. What do you do? You slow down. Your behavior changed due to being observed. Now, imagine you’re assigned a challenging task at work. Your supervisor walks over and says he wants to watch you complete the task. On cue, you start sweating, feeling nervous, not wanting to make a mistake (and, unfortunately, may make a mistake). 

Reactivity also occurs in clinical sessions.

For example, a child might purposefully choose an incorrect answer when working with a staff, who is being observed. The child thinks this is funny, and staff become frustrated; they “know the child knows how to do this.” Or have you seen students misbehaving in a school hallway when no one is around? A teacher sticks their head out to find out why it’s so loud, guess what – the student’s behavior quickly becomes more appropriate (sometimes).

Sometimes we must be observed. It’s unavoidable.

There must be a solution! Yes, yes there is. One way is to simply be inconspicuous. Instead of sitting directly behind the person being observed, sit off to the side where you can still observe but are further away. Another way is to have the observee “self-monitor,” meaning they track their own performance. In self-monitoring, you don’t even need to be there! Finally, time. The more you observe, the more “natural” it becomes, meaning less and less reactivity will occur.

Reactivity is natural. It can feel weird to have someone observing us, especially if they are evaluating you and your performance. But observation is essential. As Marilyn vos Savant said, “To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”